She uses tangerines..tangerines..

Well, anywho, like any sad pathetic freak, I had a post on an online dating service, and someone actually replied to it. I was like, holy shiz. Her name's Erica, and she's pretty cool. We might meet, and all..

Anywho. BEN FOLDS' NEW SINGLE IS OUT! RAWK!

Konami: Still the masters of making me crap myself.

Okay, I'm playing Metal Gear Solid 2, minding my own business (this is the first time I played it through). I was playing for a good two hours, when all of a sudden, I start walking around stark naked. The Colonel started radioing me with really really scary messages, like:

Colonel: Raiden, turn the game console off right now!
Raiden: What did you say?
Colonel: The mission is a failure! Cut the power right now!
Raiden: What's wrong with you?
Colonel: Don't worry, it's a game! It's a game just like usual.
Rose: You'll ruin your eyes playing so close to the TV.

And:

Colonel: Your role -- that is, mission -- is to infiltrate the structure and
disarm the terrorists --
Raiden: My role? Why do you keep saying that.
Colonel: Why not? This is a type of role-playing game.

Do you know how freaking scary that is to someone who was up at like 2 in the morning playing it? It's unheard of! So, I salute you, Konami, once again making me crap myself. First Psycho Mantis, now, this. I won't be sleeping tonight.

My cut is still pulsating with evul pain...

The song that's been stuck in my head for what seems like a decade now? "Barrytown" by Steely Dan. I dunno why. Life sucks? That song is pretty funky, though. It comes off of their album "Pretzel Logic". I highly recommend it.

Anywho, I met someone cool the other day I forgot to mention. Her name's Erica, and we met through that stupid meet people thing I signed up to and forgot about. We have a lotta eerie similiarites, and I'm gonna get to know her and shiz. She's coo.

Steve is a gimp, by the way. That's right, whatcha gonna do, Steve? Fight me! RIGHT NOW, BIZNATCH!

UPDATE: I'm probably not gonna have a job. I lost the physical form. Those people are total nazis. Damn you, library system. "If you do not have your physical form filled out, you will not be paid." Then my mom is making a big deal outta it because she thinks I can't get a job anywhere else, like fixing computers and shiz. I can do lots, like... Friday, I don't have to wear a tie. I kinda miss school.

I have, indeed, committed the worst heresy to my kind. I missed school. Kill me. I miss having something to complain and worry about. But, then I don't feel like applying to colleges either, so rape me. Rape me, my friend. Rape me, rape me again. Represent. Yesterday, I met this chick that Steve liked, who does some funny shiate. She like, hits on old guys, unlike Stef, who gets hit on by old guys. Isn't that ironic? Don't ya think?

Coke has betrayed me!

I cut my hand on a can of coke that was all dented and shit trying to open it. It really fucking hurt, so I cleaned it and all, and drank the bloody coke.

If anyone reads this besides the people I command to read it, could someone sell me an ibook cheap? Thanks.

The understatement of the year!

"Microsoft Works."

I cooked with the George Foreman grill 3 times today. I listened to a Steely Dan record, and did nothing. Welcome back, Artie! Artie is back from his prolonged hell up the mountains with his psycho father. Asshole Child is watching you all.

Userfriendly is a good comic.

Check it out.
It's all Wil Wheaton's fault I like it and write in this blog. Damn, you, Wil.

Obey him. Later, folks.

Layout nirvana has been obtained!

I'm just sitting here, with no clothes on, listening to Beck, and thinking shiz. Shiz is the word for the day. Say it with me, kids. Oh, yeah. I always keep trying to see Bethii, but she NEVER can. She has a life, I understand. So maybe we'll defintely be out on the 26th. We'd better. I'm going crazy.

Summer update

So, yeah. I like to make the pretty heading thing and then the pretty line. Line!! yay. I am simpleminded, you see. Andi was supposed to be thinking of a new layout for this piece of shiz, it appears he hasn't. Anywho, let's recap what's happened since I last wrote.

My magical journey to New Jersey began on July 3rd. We missed the rest stop, and Dad criticized my Flogging Molly CD. This should give you an idea of what the week would be like for me. Constant mockery, bitch! BITCH!!! Well, anywho, I spent the first day sitting around and doing absolutely nothing. July 4th: It was hot out. I went to the beach and boogieboarded, I think. Magical. Then I won a free game of golf on the 6th, played it on the 8th, won another free game on the 8th, played it on the 9th. It was certainly magical. We also learned the magick of Asshole Child.

Asshole Child is the picture of the kid at the entrance of Raging Waters waterpark on the boardwalk. We thought he was so ugly that we had to criticize him. It was so funny. I'm using his picture as a rating system for our movie/game/CD rating.
Anywho, that's pretty much it. Andi's doing the layout now. Later, bitch.

Summer sucks and blows.

Hello, folks.
Just so you all know, I should have the format redone eventually, and I'm going away. Eventually, on my site, there will be a nice little article about it. Whatever, ya know.

To quote Robert Sledge (bassist, Ben Folds Five):
"That's fucked up!"

Format changing is fun.
Before this sexy layout, ::snort::, I had one similar to this, but the title was fucking huge. HUGE HUGE HUGE. Like, HUGE! Adjectives were never my strong point, at least proper ones.I wanna take this time to plug my highly crappy website.
Click here for it
The site is similar to the blog, except, I ramble instead of rant. There's a subtle difference. My back is itching. So, yeah. I'm currently writing a story about this guy with this name, and he wants to do this stuff. It's really mostly based on my terrible life. At least I have fri- no; wait, I hardly have them. Stupid friends.

Ok, I've been mentioning my friends for a couple minutes now, so I'm gonna tell ya.
Back sophomore year of high school, I dated Stef, who was great. She broke up with me. Went out with Anth, conicidentally, my best friend at the time. Now, I'm not being angry or anything, I'm just telling the story. I don't really care about this all now. Well, they broke up, and then got together August last year. Of course, they neglected to tell me that they were dating. Ooh. That was an uncomfortable night. Me sitting there, glaring for 3 hours. Well, I got over it, but now, because Stef's friend Cait doesn't like me, I'm excluded from every single thing we do together. It's so annoying. So I'm gonna mesh in with a different group of friends. Nuts to them. For some reason, my blog is running on Pacific time...

Huzzah

I am Tim, and I will emphasize so many points whilst I use this crappy blog.
ONE: I hate doing layouts.
TWO: I hate Avril Lavigne
THREE: Canada is the 51st state of America.
There's more, but I don't feel like saying it all now.

Anywho, story comes to mind: one time, like when I was ten, I cracked my head open. So, how's that for traumatizing? Eh? Eh? Sorry, I have nothing to do since all my friends like, never hang out with me. It's a fucking drag.